APRIL FOOLS! Chelsea’s Corner
Hey everyone! It’s Chelsea back again with a new edition of Chelsea’s Corner, always here to answer your questions or to give you advice on all your life problems. Let’s see what we have this week!
Q: “Hey Chelsea, someone closed the gate on me, and now I'm stuck here in the garden. How do I get out? Help! -Silvia the UOP Snail”
CI: Hi Silvia! Wow! That is a predicament! I would say to go under the gap of the fence! I’m sure you are small enough to fit through. I’ll also call Public Safety to get you out!
Q: “Hey Chelsea! I love Chelsea’s Corner and I'm a huge fan! My question is that I sneak into the lair every night and make myself 7 hamburgers for dinner. Should I tell the staff?”
CI: Hi! Thank you for the question, I love all my fans! As for your question, yes, you should definitely tell the staff and maybe you can all have a big dinner with each other! Or you could get in huge trouble! Either way, those 7 hamburgers sound delicious.
Q: “Hi Chelsea, I wanted to buy 12 cans of Red Bull at The Grove, but they wouldn't let me. What's this about an 'unhealthy amount of caffeine intake?' -a concerned music major”
CI: Hiya concerned music major! An ‘unhealthy amount of caffeine intake’ is described as ‘intaking an unhealthy amount of caffeine’ (Webster Dictionary). Instead of buying 12 cans of red bull, I would suggest taking a sip of the Calaveras River! That will definitely keep you awake for years.
Q: “Hey Chelsea, I have a friend (not me) who is in love with their friend. They love the way their friend makes them (my friend, not me) feel and they always want to be with them. What should I- I mean my friend (who is not me) do? PS my friend is real and definitely not me
CI: Hi! Aw, your friend sounds like they’re in love! I would say to go for it! What do they have to lose? We only live once and when you find someone you love, you should always go for it :)
Q: ‘Hey Chelsea, are there any UOP secrets not many people on campus know about? -a uop treasure hunter”
CI: Yes, there are so many! Meet me at 37.9808° N, 121.3086° W at 14:59:22 on Saturday April 2nd, 2022 to find them out.
Thank you all for your questions and if you have any, please email hichelseaidontknowwhatimdoing@gmail.com to send in your own!
