Lingua Ignota: Faith, Abuse, and Music
Photo by Mo
How Kristen Hayter gives voice to the voiceless and empowers survivors through her music.
Introduction:
Content Warning: Mentions of Rape, Abuse, and Religious Trauma
Welcome back! I am Joshua, and this is the latest installment of Narratives of Change. Taking a brief departure from video games and film, I am diving into the work of one of my favorite musical artists, Kristen Hayter, formerly known as Lingua Ignota. In this article, I will explore how Hayter’s powerful portrayal of faith, trauma, and the complexities of divine justice is conveyed through her music, offering a voice to the voiceless. I highly recommend listening to her album Sinner, Get Ready and her single Wicked Game firsthand for full context!
Lingua Ignota - Surviving Abuse through Music:
Kristen Hayter is a singer, songwriter, and composer whose work explores themes of faith, trauma, and survival. She first gained widespread recognition with All Bitches Die (2017), a harrowing and genre-defying album that blended elements of various genres such as neoclassical, noise, and metal. Drawing deeply from her Catholic upbringing, Hayter’s music interrogates the power of faith while reckoning with the pain and abuse intertwined with religious institutions and her personal relationships. Inspired by those who have “been through hard shit and keep going” (Hayter, pg.1), she uses her voice to give form to both suffering and resilience.
As she became more involved in the metal community, Hayter entered a relationship with Alexis Marshall, frontman of the band Daughters, in 2020. In December 2021, she publicly accused Marshall of sexual assault, rape, and psychological abuse, alleging that an instance of violent, objectifying sex resulted in a spinal disc herniation that led to cauda equina syndrome, requiring surgery. She also questions religious systems and the complicated nature of faith from the perspective of a survivor of abuse. Hayter has continually channeled her experiences into her music, using it as both catharsis and testimony.
Wicked Game:
Marshall and Hayter covered Chris Isaak’s Wicked Game, a lusty ballad about unrequited love. Their version, featuring Marshall on the chorus, was released at the height of their relationship. At first, it seemed like a moody duet between two lovers, but with context, the song takes on a disturbing new meaning.
The cover is condensed from the original, with certain lyrics repeated: “The world is on fire and nothing could save me but you / It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do.” The unrequited love of the original song shifts into something far more sinister when understood through the lens of Hayter and Marshall’s abusive relationship. Isaak’s lyrics paint a picture of a man tormented by a woman leading him into a “wicked game” for her love, blaming her for his suffering even though she never provoked him. Hayter flips this sexist concept on its head, turning it into a reflection of the emotional entrapment she experienced. At the height of her abuse, she desperately wanted Marshall—someone she deeply cared for—to stop hurting her, but he refused, instead pulling her back in with promises of change, forcing her into his own “wicked game.”
The chorus feels especially ominous in hindsight. Hayter sings, “And I don’t want to fall in love,” expressing a fear of vulnerability, while Marshall’s voice lingers in the background: “This girl will only break your heart.” What once seemed like a melancholic exchange between lovers now feels like a haunting display of control—Marshall holding the power yet refusing to respect Hayter’s needs. The repeated line, “It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do,” carries an even darker weight, not as a lament of longing but as a reflection of Hayter being trapped with an abuser she loved, desperately seeking his validation.
In 2022, Hayter re-released the song without Marshall, making the new version feel more cohesive and personal. Yet, listening back to the original remains a haunting experience—a seemingly romantic duet now permanently stained by the abuse she endured. This cover, despite its minimal lyrical changes, speaks to the power of music as a form of resistance and how context can completely transform a song’s meaning.
SINNER, GET READY:
Her final album under the Lingua Ignota name, Sinner Get Ready, is a hauntingly beautiful work that marks a significant evolution in her music. While her earlier albums were known for their intense screams, here her voice trembles with raw emotion, capturing a more vulnerable and human side. Despite her classical vocal training, Hayter purposefully includes “mistakes”—cracks, wavers, imperfections—allowing her vulnerability to shine through. This mirrors her complicated relationship with God, which is marked by both moments of pure worship and intense, dark resentment.
Her insecurity morphs into a searing bitterness on “I Will Bend the Tall Grasses,” my favorite track, where Hayter lays bare the painful intersection of her faith, abuse, and God’s silence. The song’s driving organs repeat the same chords, creating an echo of the cyclical suffering she endures. Her vocals rise in urgency as she demands vengeance for her abuser. The chilling opening lines, “Glorious Father, intercede for me / If I cannot hide from you, neither can he,” capture the tension between devotion and despair. She questions the all-powerful God who witnesses her torment yet remains unmoved—why, after offering herself entirely, does He remain silent?
As the song progresses, Hayter’s tone deepens in bitterness, invoking biblical imagery to confront ideas of divine justice. She reinterprets the story of Abraham and Isaac, a central test of faith in Christianity where Abraham is commanded to sacrifice his son but is stopped at the last moment. Christianity often presents the New Testament as a moral evolution—a shift from the Old Testament’s harsh justice to a more merciful God. But Hayter sees through this veneer. If God is truly merciful, why does He allow suffering to persist? Why demand unwavering devotion but withhold action?
In her desperate plea, she sings, “I have made my body your vessel / I preach your word in every room,” offering everything she has, but it is never enough. She cries, “Are my sacrifices not extravagant?” Her voice swells into a breaking wail as she demands, “All I have is yours / And I swear I can’t do it again / I swear to you, Lord, he has to die / You have to, I’m not asking.” But God’s response is cold, stripping away her plea for justice: “And I, it is I who bends the tall grasses / It is I / I am the one / I am the only one / I have to be!” His words offer no comfort—only a reassertion of His power, mirroring the denial of agency she experiences at the hands of her abuser. Her pain, like her faith, is rendered insignificant.
This powerful moment lays bare the maddening nature of faith—being told that God is ever-present, yet never intervening. Hayter’s frustration extends beyond divine silence to challenge the way abusers are often framed as inevitable forces of nature, unchangeable and beyond accountability. Marshall, who is bipolar, has attempted to use his mental illness as an excuse for his behavior, but Hayter rejects this justification. In Sinner Get Ready—especially in I Will Bend the Tall Grasses—Hayter delivers a defiant cry, demanding accountability both from an inactive God and those who choose to harm in cowardice without consequence.
Conclusion:
In 2023, she retired the Lingua Ignota moniker, citing the toll of reliving her trauma through performance. Through her work, Hayter reveals how music can serve as both an exorcism and an assertion of power, a space where suffering is not just endured but confronted. Although I deeply admire Lingua Ignota’s music, I am even more grateful that Hayter can step into a new chapter on her own terms. She is no longer bound to the past, and I eagerly await the future she will create through her art.
Works Cited:
7, S. (2017, October 20). Lingua Ignota (aka Kristin Hayter) talked to us about sampling Aileen Wuornos, redefining “Heavy” & the humans who inspire her art. MUSIC&RIOTS Magazine. https://musicandriots.com/interview-with-kristin-hayter-aka-lingua-ignota1/