APRIL FOOLS!- Powercat CANCELLED

Yep, you didn’t misread that title. No clickbait here. After various unconfirmed rumors surrounding University of the Pacific’s very own Powercat, he was finally caught in the act. After recruiting a few undercover journalists, they’ve discovered that Powercat is not a cat at all, but a 50 year old man named Robert who “likes to dress up like a cat”. 

What a horrible misuse of trust. When students went missing and orange tufts of fur were collected at the crime scene, no one blinked an eye when Powercat put out a statement claiming to be a vegetarian immediately afterwards. When people wished him a happy birthday and he told us he was 23, we ignored records proving the presence of a tiger mascot existing since 1914! How many more lies will Powercat continue to feed us? When will the attack on student trust end?!

In a completely reasonable decision by people who were definitely not just myself, a journalist snuck into the latest Pacific game, knowing he’d be there. Originally, they intended to bombard him with questions about the rumored entanglement with a certain Delta College Mustang (whose name we won’t release for privacy concerns), and instead were shocked to see the tiger unmask himself. 

I mean, they weren’t expecting a Tony the Tiger level appearance but this? A major disappointment to everyone who believed our Powercat to be family. He won us over with his charming personality, his student pride, and glossy coat of fur, only to betray us in the worst way possible: by not being an actual tiger. He declined to comment not only on the rumors, but also about the lies he was hiding under a mask. 

What else will he lie about? Who else will he hurt? We will continue to follow this story closely and keep everyone informed after this shocking event.