APRIL FOOLS!- Two Write-Ins Won the ASuop Election!

Dixie N. and Huge J. have just won the ASuop election as write-in candidates! This win is legendary and will undoubtedly go down as the most important election in history. Students wanted to vote for a ticket that was diverse, inclusive, and progressive. Dixie and Huge had just what they wanted! Dixie says that “this win was unexpected to most but very expected to both Huge and myself. We had our futures read by Susanna who lives behind In-In-Out and she said that we had a lot of potential.” In an exclusive interview with Susanna, she mentioned that the weather for the next week would be “mostly cloudy” and that she “doesn’t remember anyone named Dixie or Huge.” Let this be a reminder to all students that you can live your dreams and find the path of least resistance to success! It has been said that the “legitimate” candidates are devastated by this turn of events but only rumors have been confirmed. They have not been seen in at least 18 hours. Susanna claims to have seen them, so take that as you will.